It’s Not OK

We use the phrase “OK” frequently on any given day. We use it when people ask how we are doing, when making plans with friends, or when agreeing with someone, even if we’re not in full agreement. Why do we say it so often? Is everything really as “OK” as we say it is?

Many times when we say OK we are simply saying it to appease someone else. Sometimes when we say it, and we genuinely mean it. Other times we simply say it because we believe that’s what is expected of us. When is the last time you were asked, “How are you?” and you answered with something other than OK or something else indicating things are well? Those moments are probably few and far between. I believe, however, that we should not be so afraid of saying, “It’s not OK.”

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.”

Josh Billings

I find myself guilty of simply agreeing with many people in hope of making things easier for everyone. I am afraid of hurting people about whom I care. There are times when it is appropriate to agree with some things for the sake of making things easy. I think that it can be damaging to your own happiness and well-being though if you never admit that things are not OK. I have dismissed many of my feelings because I just did not want to burden someone with them.

One of my New Years Resolutions is to not be afraid of saying that I’m not OK. It has been a difficult transition because I, along with many others, get stuck in my habits. Some may view saying that things are not OK as a way to seek attention and be selfish. It is not worth sacrificing your happiness constantly in hopes of just pleasing someone else. People’s opinions should only matter to a degree. How close family and friends view you should be important, but if they really care about you, they should want you to be able to be honest with them.

If you choose to say that you are not OK, you must be open to then explaining why things are not OK. A person should not have to pry that information out of you. It may take time to collect your emotions and thoughts, but you should eventually feel comfortable speaking to someone about how you feel. Today we struggle with discussing our emotions with others, and I believe we need to be more open with others about how we feel about things and other people.

I encourage you to be OK with saying that you are not OK. You should be comfortable saying it to people you interact with frequently and mean a lot to you. If you cannot be honest with someone about how you are doing, you may want to consider that person’s significance in your life and if that relationship is worth your energy.

It’s OK to not be OK. Don’t be afraid of telling others. Your happiness is incredibly important, and you should not let others prohibit it. Only you are in control of your happiness.

Monica

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